My Fears

Some random tidbits before I start on the Challenge:


“Does the madman know he is mad? Or are the madmen those who insist on convincing him of his unreason in order to safeguard their own idea of reality?”
Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Shadow of the Wind)

That’s a quote from one of my favorite books ever.  It’s something interesting to think about – not just in technicalities, but it challenges the way we define ourselves, the people around us, and the world as a whole.  Is it fair to label someone “crazy” just because they think differently?  And could it be dangerous to not identify some people as crazy, like those who are a danger to those around them or even themselves?

I’m not saying I’m not guilty of labeling people as crazy – I think my aunt’s entirely crazy and some of my other family members as well.  I do think that it’s something to contemplate, for sure.

Oh, Neville.


Anyway, my fears:

1. People breaking in.  I’m completely phobic about it.  It’s actually a huge problem.

2. Needles.  This one is a lot more rational – I’ve had a lot of awful experiences with them and they completely freak me out now.  I’ll let nurses give them to me, but they scare me so badly.

3. Being dependent on someone other than myself.  This is probably the biggest problem in my relationship right now.  I feel so emotionally dependent on Jack, which is not necessarily a bad thing in a serious relationship, but it scares the hell out of me and I find myself pushing him away sometimes because of it.

Those are the big ones.  I’m not going to include things that I have completely rational things of.  I mean, sure, I find snakes scary, but I don’t get upset every time I see a picture of one or even when I see one in general.  I’ve even touched snakes – in safely controlled environments, but still.  Then, you know, sharks, spiders, etc.  Anything that could kill me, I’d say I have a rational fear of.  I think that’s fair.


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