My Family

Three words: bat-shit crazy.

And I’m not kidding.

My nuclear family is pretty normal.  My parents are still together (actually, I’m not sure that’s still considered “normal”…how depressing) and I have a younger sister.  She’s a senior in high school right now.

I could probably write thousands of pages on my family if I ever took the time, but for now I’m just going to ramble some.

My sister and I are very, very different people and we haven’t always gotten along well because of that.  We have similarities, even if the only one I can think of at the moment is that we both play soccer.  And I guess neither of us really got a boyfriend til senior  year of high school, but those aren’t fundamental traits.

The easiest way to see how different we are (other than having a conversation with us, during which it is painfully obvious) is to look at who we associate with.  She hangs out almost entirely with girls.  There’s a group of guys that her group of girl friends associate with as a unit, more or less, but that’s it.  I have a couple of girl friends, but the majority of my friends are guys.  I can’t deal with groups of girls.  Guys are just so much easier for me to hang out with.

Parents…I get along a lot better with my parents now that I’m in college and not living at home.  My Dad and I used to butt heads a lot.  I think it’s because we’re too similar.  I’m pretty sure my mom has separation anxiety.  She’s kind of crazy.  I mean, I love her, and we talk some.  She makes everyone else’s business her own, and she doesn’t understand the concept that not everyone has the same personality/preferences as her.  This results in her attempting to shove all of her favorite things down my throat.

Now. for crazy family:

When I think of family, this is who I think of outside of my of my parents and sister.  My mom’s side of the family includes my Granny (my Pop Pop died of lung cancer when I was in 5th grade), and my mom’s siblings’ families.  Here goes:

Aunt R married to Uncle P:
Uncle P is BFFs with my Dad and they like to get drunk together.  It’s actually pretty hilarious.  My Dad mostly used to drink by himself at home (borderline alcoholism, I know) and would just get kinda moody.  My Uncle’s a lightweight and my Dad is not, but you can always tell my Dad’s tipsy by my Uncle’s state.  Uncle P is a rather bawdy drunk.  He’s a pretty bawdy person, really.
Their kids are Charlie (20) and Jess (17).  Jess is the cousin I’m closest to.  They’re the most normal of my cousins, although that’s not saying much.  Jess is a total pothead, but he’s really hilarious and actually very smart.

Uncle J married Delia, who then turned out to be a crazy bitch. However, they did not divorce before producing Jon (20).  Jon is completely messed up – he does nothing but complain no matter what’s going on and ends up chasing off all his friends away.  This resulted a few weeks ago in both Charlie and Jess punching him in the face.  Jon punched first, and then subsequently got this shit beat out of him.  My family’s so classy.
Uncle J remarried Lori, who already had Melinda (20) and Dick (21? 22?).  Dick is your stereotypical bully with the scary twist that he’s one of the most charming people you’ll ever meet.  So he constantly hates on Jon, making him feel awful about himself, and once he realizes everyone is mad at him for being an ass he turns on the charm and you like him again.
Melinda, though only 20, is currently in the process of getting divorced.  A month after her 18th birthday, she married a marine she had known for three months.  Needless to say, that didn’t work out so well for them.  After giving up NC State for him and going to community college instead, living in her bedroom from high school in her parent’s house with him, HE LEFT HER.  I’m just glad it’s over, whatever the circumstances.

Aunt C married some guy and quickly divorced him.  Now she’s married to Uncle K and they have little K and Johnny.  Aunt C doesn’t talk to anyone in the family because she’s legitimately paranoid and think that everyone in the family is out to get her.  This summer I saw little K and Johnny for the first time in years.  Johnny didn’t remember my name.

Anyway, I’ve barely skimmed the surface but I have other things to do at the moment.  Soo….until next time!


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