I’m kind of disappointed I didn’t stop by to listen to the Pit Preacher today. Apparently he taught some valuable lessons. My friend who’s a freshman and evidently had never heard Gary speak before took the following picture of him today and captioned it:
“The Legendary PIT PREACHER: This is right after he said all black people are rappers and 80% of them steal/rob. Oh and weed causes homosexuality because an evil soul floats into rectums of those who smoke. This guy is hours of entertainment haha”
He does look quite majestic there, with Wilson Library in the background.
Also, a little background for the next one:
So Neal and I have started eating lunch together on Tuesdays and Thursday. Yesterday I was waiting for him and it was chilly so I decided to wait for him inside. Right inside the dining hall is right where all the basketball players hang out. Considering I go to a school that won the national championship a few years back, our basketball players are kinda a big deal. I mean, everyone leaves them alone when they chill there around lunch time, because, after all, they are fellow students. They’re still people fans know nationwide, however.
So, telling Neal where I was, I said “I’ll be waiting inside next to Harrison Barnes” (who’s one of our stars).
Today, when Neal texted me, asking if I wanted to do lunch tomorrow, I responded: “Sure. Right before eleven. If it’s chilly I’ll probably be standing by Harrison Barnes again. If not I’ll be outside” (He really is a permanent fixture there…slowly morphing from renowned basketball player to landmark).
So, his response (and the point of this whole story):
“I really hope it’s the former. Maybe one day he will mistake you for one of his mistresses and conversation will somehow include me. At which time an epic friendship is struck up because he likes that I like him for more than his basketball prowess, as surely I will. Presently we will be best bros and I will get to go to all the games and sit by the team and we will tweet inside jokes when he is in the NBA and I am the professional writer with it. And here is how it gets back to you: you as my editor. We all live rich and happy besties, and I get to wear his championship rings, notice the plural rings, as I please. Or something along those lines.”
To which I naturally responded: “You’re welcome.”
With that kind of imagination, I bet he will be a writer. Also, that was one of the longest texts I’ve ever received in my life.