Archive | October 2011

What My Future (Hopefully) Holds

“So, you’re clairvoyant, now, right? You can see past, present, and future all at the same time?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Can you tell me how LOST ends?”

“Harry, there are some questions that even I can’t answer.”

-A Very Potter Musical
Harry and Dumbledore

What I want in my future.

I was to be established in a career, preferably as a book editor.  I want to get married and have 2 or 3 children – at least one boy and one girl (yes, I know you don’t get to pick. And if people are picking by the time I’m having babies I like to think that I wouldn’t choose the sex of my child).  I want to have traveled a lot and lived in another country for a year or two at least.  I wouldn’t mind even living in another country permanently, but I have no issue with staying in the U.S., as long as I get out for a little bit.  I was to still be having little adventures when I’m older and be reading for fun.  I also want to keep in shape.  Oh, and I want a dog.


I’m sitting in the Burlington, Vermont airport again on my way home.  I got here around 2 and my plane boards at 6:51, so it’s not 12 hours but it’s still not a very nice wait.  I’m trying to be productive and write my cover letter for a potential internship this summer, but that’s going really poorly so I’m destressing and writing this instead.  Maybe this’ll get me in gear to write better.  Like a warm-up.  Or maybe this is making it harder, because I don’t write very well on here – it’s very conversational.  Oh well.


Random picture:

Cute little toad Jack and I found while hiking this summer!

Yeah, my fingers are stubby. I know.



My Fears

Some random tidbits before I start on the Challenge:


“Does the madman know he is mad? Or are the madmen those who insist on convincing him of his unreason in order to safeguard their own idea of reality?”
Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Shadow of the Wind)

That’s a quote from one of my favorite books ever.  It’s something interesting to think about – not just in technicalities, but it challenges the way we define ourselves, the people around us, and the world as a whole.  Is it fair to label someone “crazy” just because they think differently?  And could it be dangerous to not identify some people as crazy, like those who are a danger to those around them or even themselves?

I’m not saying I’m not guilty of labeling people as crazy – I think my aunt’s entirely crazy and some of my other family members as well.  I do think that it’s something to contemplate, for sure.

Oh, Neville.


Anyway, my fears:

1. People breaking in.  I’m completely phobic about it.  It’s actually a huge problem.

2. Needles.  This one is a lot more rational – I’ve had a lot of awful experiences with them and they completely freak me out now.  I’ll let nurses give them to me, but they scare me so badly.

3. Being dependent on someone other than myself.  This is probably the biggest problem in my relationship right now.  I feel so emotionally dependent on Jack, which is not necessarily a bad thing in a serious relationship, but it scares the hell out of me and I find myself pushing him away sometimes because of it.

Those are the big ones.  I’m not going to include things that I have completely rational things of.  I mean, sure, I find snakes scary, but I don’t get upset every time I see a picture of one or even when I see one in general.  I’ve even touched snakes – in safely controlled environments, but still.  Then, you know, sharks, spiders, etc.  Anything that could kill me, I’d say I have a rational fear of.  I think that’s fair.

Canada, Eh?

So, despite the drama getting here, I’m in Montreal! Yay!  I got here around 2:30 yesterday, and Dan picked me up from the bus stop and we came back to his apartment to drop off my stuff.

Once that was done, I cleaned up a little (I was feeling pretty gross after 20 hours of travel) and we went out exploring a little bit.  We went through what’s known as the “underground city” some, which, despite the awesome name, turns out to just be a really large mall.  I mean, granted, it’s underground and it’s got zillions of stores, most of which I had never even heard of, but it’s still just a mall.

We also went to Montreal’s tiny but cute Chinatown, which is really only a block.  We went into a Chinese pastry shop and got doughnuts, which were definitely nothing like Krispy Kreme, but were delicious nonetheless.  We were planning on walking with our doughnuts, but between the time we went into the shop and paid, it had started pouring.  So we waited it out inside and then explored some more.

We got dinner at a burger joint that liked to pretend it was all fancy.  It was quite odd and I had a lot of trouble with the menu.  Although he gave us the English menus, there was a enough French on them that I had absolutely no idea what half of it said.

After going back for some much needed rest, we went out to the QAC, which is the alcohol store here.  I was seriously tempted by the Kahlua, but they only sold it in really large bottles, and as I can’t bring it back (I traveled carry-on), it would’ve been a waste of money.  Instead I (legally!!) bought a little bottle of Bailey’s, Dan got some gin, and we went to the grocery store and got ice cream.

Back at his place, I had Bailey’s milkshakes (not as good as Kahlua milkshakes (I know, I know, I have cheap tastes)), and Dan had gin and tonics and we watched Clueless.  It was fabulous.

Brief background story before going into the next part of this: over the summer on my trip to Alaska I made friends with this guy Suresh who goes to McGill.  I told him I had a friend here, but he said he didn’t know Dan when I asked.  A few weeks ago they just happened to meet, so now they know each other, which makes my life easier).

So, after Clueless, Suresh came over and we all went out to The Factory, which is a bar here.  I didn’t really dress up, because I didn’t realize that it was going to be more like a club than a bar – there was a DJ and pretty much everyone was dancing.  Seems like a club to me.  I had a lot of fun people-watching.  I was simultaneously grossed out and amused when the guy near us straight up started fingering the girl he was dancing with.  To my amazement, she didn’t stop him – it went on for several minutes!  I mean, his hand was up her skirt.  Seriously, people?

Today Daniel and I went to the old city, which was really awesome.  I’ll put up some pictures later.  We went into a maple store, where I got a piece of maple candy and a maple latte.  They were both amazing!  Also, we went into a super touristy shop so I could pick up something for Jack and I got him a shot glass that has the “Canadian triathlon” on it. It’s got a little man running from bear, swimming away from a whale, and climbing a tree to avoid a moose.

Montreal is really awesome.  It’s pretty European, but as I’ve never been to France it’s really unique to me.  I knew it was francophone, but I thought the English influence was greater than it is.  Most things aren’t translated to English, and as I’ve only ever learned Spanish this makes things difficult at times.  Luckily, Spanish and French are close enough that I can read a decent amount of the French.

Excuse my Profanity, But…

My bus was supposed to be here an hour ago.  Guess what’s still not here?

So, I”m sitting in the cold in, excuse me, FUCKING VERMONT, waiting for something that is evidently not coming.  The next bus is at 12:20 tomorrow.  As in, seven hours from now.

I’m not even old enough to get a fucking hotel room so I can go to sleep in a place where I’m not afraid that the lady who won’t leave me alone is going to rob me or rape me or something.  Because some idiot decided that while an 18 year old can buy a house, get married, go to war, etc., etc., an 18 year old cannot get a fucking hotel room.  Or drink, but that’s beside the point.

For the record, I’m not even 18 – I’m 19, so only 2 years off from being able to get a bed to sleep on when stranded in a state I’ve never been to.

I can’t call customer service until 8 am – not even 7, because they’re in the central time zone so their 7 is my 8.  I don’t even know for sure they’ll let me take a different bus since I bought a ticket for a specific one.

So, basically, fuck greyhound.


I’m going to do another Thirty Day Challenge now. Because I can.

Yes, I realize a day hasn’t passed since my last one.  I’m making up for lost time, since I skipped four or five this week.

Five Items I Lust After

I’m gonna stick with material things, as I’m guessing this is the object of this.  I could say more time or something, but I’ll resist.  Although I’m having trouble thinking of five specific material things.

1. Plane tickets.  To everywhere you could possibly imagine.  Singapore, Thailand, Czech Republic, Ghana, Argentina…

2. Clothes.  What my wardrobe would look like if I could afford it….unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I’m a cheapskate and the things I splurge on tend to be things like plane tickets, not clothes.  I would love some nice sweaters though, and a lot more boots.  And some nice scarves, but I’ve never understood paying more than $10ish for a scarf.  Also, I would buy a lot more socks.  I kinda have a thing for funny socks.

3. Books.  I can’t walk through Barnes and Noble without wanting about sixteen of them.  And yet I have so many at home I need to read I can’t justify buying them.  Currently wanting Innocent Traitor by Alison Weir, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, and anything by Orson Scott Card

4. Food.  If I’m not eating, I’m probably thinking about what I would like to be eating at the moment.  Some common ones are: cappuccino milkshakes, frappuccinos, goldfish, chocolate, and smoothies.  I. Love. Food.

5. Naps.  I fantasize about napping a lot.  It’s a college problem.

my roommate last year napping like a champ

6. Soccer (sorry, I just thought of a sixth just now and I didn’t want to delete one!).  Sometimes I would rather play soccer than have any of the things listed above.  It’s a pretty big part of my identity, even if I don’t play anymore.  There’s something I get out of running around kicking a ball that  I simply can’t get from anything else.

Waiting on a Night Bus

I’m sitting in an airport in Burlington, Vermont (if you’re wondering what’s in Vermont, the answer is maple syrup and, as far as I know, nothing else), waiting on my bus.  It’s 12:41 at the moment, and my bus is due at 4:15. AM.

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Anyway, I figured I’d write some while I’ve got some time to kill.  Considering I’ve got pretty much all my valuables with me and there is no security here as far as I can see, I’m a bit wary of napping and am attempting to stay awake the whole time.  This doesn’t seem to have bothered the man asleep across three chairs right by me, but whatever.

I flew out to D.C. at 8:30 (it was supposed to be 7:45), got there, and had to go straight to the next gate to make my connection here.  The flight from D.C. to Burlington was kind of awful.  I got to my seat, which turned out to be a guy who appeared to be not that much older than me.  I thought this would be a good thing – surely he’d talk to me, right?   I love meeting people, and will talk to pretty much anyone.

Well, wrong.  He looked exasperated as I sat down, which was, as far as I can figure, completely unwarranted.  I mean, I know I’m not exactly the epitome of grace or anything, but I don’t think I was being THAT much of a bumbling fool.  I struggled with my jacket a little bit, pushed my backpack under the seat in front of me, and sat.  I said hi as I sat down (southern hospitality!) and he completely ignored me.  I mean, he had his headphones in, but he had to have realized I was acknowledging him.

So, I wrote this guy off as a dick and pretty much just ignored him for the rest of the ride.

It was a very bumpy ride, and not because of the jerk sitting beside me.  It was a rainy day today – hence the delay in my first flight – and as we were flying at night, the pilot couldn’t see well enough to avoid the clouds.  So there was probably the worst turbulence I’ve ever experienced.

Normally I enjoy a little bit of turbulence (I know, I’m weird), but this was actually really nerve-wracking.  All the people around me were visibly nervous.  I really wanted to talk to someone as a distraction – I knew reading wouldn’t be enough to distract me, but the guy beside me looked resolutely ahead.  I could tell he was anxious, as he had been watching movies on his iPod and stopped whenever we hit heavy turbulence.

The turbulence we experienced didn’t really freak me out too much – it was the fear that we might hit an air pocket and drop a hundred feet or something.  That sounds awful.  Or even that we would just crash.

And now a lady also waiting on the bus is chatting with me, which is nice.  She’s headed to Boston though, which means she’ll be leaving in an hour.  She’s nice, though.  She’s from the Ukraine originally.

And….now I feel used because she just casually dropped that she’s short $25 for her ticket and she’s praying that she gets it.  I feel bad for her, but at the same time I’ve heard enough horror stories to know better than to pull my wallet out when someone asks for money because they’re liable to take the whole thing.  I don’t think she’d do that, but I’d rather be safe. :/

I guess I’ll do the next Thirty Day Challenge.  I’m not so good at this anymore.

Something I have trouble with.

Since my last challenge was spent praising myself, I’mma go ahead and even that out a little bit.

I have trouble with letting things go.  I’m very stubborn, and I can argue to the point of ridiculousness because I’m too proud to give up.  Even when I realize I’m doing it, I find it very difficult to stop.

Pig Racing, the Zipper, and Deep-Fried Deliciousness

So, I really shouldn’t even be writing right now, even if I haven’t written since Thursday (or whenever that last post was).  I’ve been mad busy lately.

On Friday Jack and I went and watched the volleyball game and then Late Night with Roy, which is the pre-season basketball show at my school.  It was fantastic – the women’s basketball team went first, and then the men’s basketball team came out.  The women’s was great, but, like most of the school, I’ve never even a women’s basketball game.

The men’s team came out next and they were sooo funny.  They did 5 or 6 choreographed dances, which was fantastic.  Kendall Marshall, who is in my opinion our best player, was not afraid to get it on the dance floor!  And Tyler Zeller was so incredibly awkward, poor thing.

I had a headache the whole time though and it kept getting worse and worse.  The show was so funny though, I really didn’t want to leave.  I had to step out right before they started scrimmaging though, because I felt like I was going to throw up (yay migraines…every noise made me feel a little more nauseated).  So I left and Jack came with me (he’s such a sweetheart.  I told him he could stay but he wanted to come take care of me).  The walk back to my dorm wasn’t long, but every single step made my head throb and it was just awful.  We were supposed to go out with Gracie that night (she was visiting…again. Seems like she’s here more than half of the time), but I obviously couldn’t.  I went to sleep and poor Jack slept on the futon rather than going home.

So the next morning Jack and I went to see my parents and some of their friends in some parking deck where they were tailgating.  It was parents weekend so mine came down for the football game.  We went up pretty early, and I had my coffee mug with me.  I got there and was immediately asked: “So….what’s in the mug?” “Uh…coffee?”

I got asked at least 3 or 4 times – once by my parents – what was in my mug.  It’s ten in the morning and I’m going to see my parents…there is coffee in my mug.  That is all.

Anyway, Jack and I played corn hole against my Dad and his friend and lost magnificently in the first game.  We almost won the second.

So, we left for the game against Miami, where we sat with Jack’s parents.  We lost, which sucked, but we ALMOST won it in the end.  Oh well.

That night, Jack and I met Ty and Gracie (who’re kinda dating) for dessert at Sugarland, the BEST dessert shop ever.  Then Jack and I headed back to his place, where we did homework like all the cool kids.

Sunday we went to the State Fair with Gracie and Ty!  I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE the fair.  It’s one of my favorite things about October.  My favorite ride, the Zipper, was closed until the very end, so I almost didn’t get to ride it, but I did!

 The Zipper!


Of course, the food was awesome too.  I probably gained at least 5 pounds, if not more.  I ate: a deep fried Three Musketeers, a smoothie, chocolate dipped strawberries, roasted corn, and a cinnamon bun (which was actually really disappointing).

And we got to watch pig racing, which was absolutely adorable.

Anyhoo, I’m leaving for Montreal today!  I need to get back to class now though.